Life Changing

Life Changing – today a bit different, due to a lovely fellow blogger who is going through changes…

When things seem to be out of order... and life is in puzzle pieces

When life seems to be in puzzle pieces

I’ve been thinking for some time to write this post. I normally write just a few lines here, cause people usually don’t read. I seldom share personal things. Now it felt right to do it. Long post; if you don’t read I can understand. But if you do, thank you so much! If you wish, share your stories! Having a baby, moving to another city, country, a new job… there are so many “life changingstories!

The very lovely Jessica from Chronically Vintage is going through a life changing event. Her house was burnt to the ground with all she and her husband had and even their cat :( They saved their dog, thankfully. If you wish to help, there’s a site to do so. Today, some words to remind all of us that life can change in the blink of an eye and that we should never take things for granted.

Questions

Life changing story

I have shared with a few blogger friends what happened to me 5 years ago. I don’t want to take the focus from what happened to Jessica, also not comparing. It was a different life changing event. I thought that the two stories are life changing and that it was good to talk about it. As I said, share your stories of life changing events. After all, rejoice for being alive! Blogging helped me to keep sane!

Both my parents unexpectedly passed away 5 years ago. You read it well, both. From one day to the other I found myself without my beloved parents. I lived in another country, which doubled the pain. My mother was alive for some days after my dad died, so I could fly to see her and I saw her dying :( Feelings and healing time are different for each person. Shock, denial, anger, apathy, so on.

I was writing my Master’s thesis and would have 3 exams when they died. I don’t know how I was able to finish my 2 Masters. I studied and cried, again and again.

Why did it happen, a recurrent question at the time

Why did it happen, a recurrent question at the time

For 3 years, I couldn’t talk about it, otherwise I’d burst in tears. The pain is just unbearable, to lose both parents at the same time, being still young. But I learned a lot  that when you’re happy and smiley (what I usually am) you have a lot of fake friends. They stop talking to you when you’re sad. Your true friends understand you, give you space and will be there for you when you’re ready.

I learned that if you don’t know what to say, be honest and say that. You can’t imagine what I have heard. From people I used to call friends. Some examples:

► “Your parents lived enough and could die. You have to understand that people die. It could be worse.” (My mother was still young, the same age of the mother of this person, when she told me that.)

► “You can’t be happy anymore, right? Well, I have problems with people who have your attitude.” (2 months after it happened.)

► “I hope now you see that makeup and contact lenses are not important.” (A female professor who didn’t want me to wear makeup. Why?)

► “Your life seems to be problem-less, but look, you have a problem, you don’t have parents anymore.” (I should have said: thank you for your words, I feel so much better after you told me that!)

► “My father’s death was worse than your parents’ death.” (What? Death contest???)

► “Com’on, you didn’t see them for a while, you won’t feel that bad.” (We often talked through phone and computer.)

► “I think that people who don’t enjoy eating, don’t have fun in life.” (At first, I couldn’t eat well. And fun wasn’t my goal at the time, obviously – I should have said that to the person.)

► “I envy you, you don’t have parents anymore, but you have properties, so it’s OK.”

road-sign-63983_640

The last point is pathetic. Many people ask me what I do and say “I envy you”. I understand, not in a bad way if they don’t know my story. I’m not guilty for having some good things, but they’re only material things. What should count is the character of a person. Apart from shelter, many things are superfluous. My best privilege was to have my parents. I would give ALL material things I have for the chance to hug my parents for 5 minutes again.

For all the bad things I have heard, there were human angels who supported me so much! I still think “I will call mum and dad to tell this and that!”, then I realize that I can’t call. I cannot share stories again :(

I put on 44 lbs (22 kg) after they died. I lost some, but not all. But now I am “fine” with that.

Two years ago I decided I’d honor my parents for giving me the wonderful gift called life. To continue parents’ legacy and celebrate their lives! It wasn’t easy. I needed to go on, to be happy for them. Every parent wishes kids to be happy. I now appreciate things much more, taking nothing for granted. I’m thankful for flowers, for being able to see, to walk, for many things. After losses, give yourself time to heal – you’re not expected to be perfect. Don’t be ashamed to be vulnerable.

Before we think we are the “best”, we should remember that life can change in a second. Never be arrogant! We can never judge people, because we don’t know what they are going through!

When we cannot find the right words, a particular song can express our thoughts and deep feelings much better than we are able to do at the time.

Wishing you a very nice week with smiles!

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57 thoughts on “Life Changing

  1. Oh dear Denise – although I’ve known your story, it still feels so much sadder to read it written down. We all go through problems with parents at some point in our life, but I cannot imagine the pain you have been through to lose them both at the same time. Our lives change when we lose a parent, life can never be the same again, but you have survived (I’m sure there were times when you thought you wouldn’t).
    It is very brave of you to finally write this blog. Keep smiling.
    Sending you love and blessings
    Fil

  2. oh wow honey, I had no idea! I cant possibly imagine how that must feel, all I can say is I’m sorry! Thank you for sharing this with us, I can imagine how hard it must have been to put these thoughts into words for us to read! Sending you lots of hugs your way <3
    Pam xo/ Pam Scalfi♥

  3. Thank you for sharing your life story with us. I can only imagine how hard it must have been losing both of your parents at the same time and at such a young age. It is always hard when we must say that final goodbye to a family member but when they die at an old age we at least can feel some comfort knowing that we had them by our side so long, in this way when they die so suddently, it is the hardest thing to endure. I’m shock by how insensitive those comments are and while I’m aware that in some ‘modern’ families, the children aren’t attached to their parents, I still can’t understand those comments, they are really no excuse for them. I know that some people are not close to their family and that is understandable (because maybe it is their parents who are cold towards them) but to say such ridiculous things to somebody who suffered such loss is horrible. It would be unsensitive to behave in such a way even if you faced something much less serious….all I can say that it is good that you got rid of those people and they are not in your life anymore. I’m particulary shocked by that comment that the teacher made- who ever gave her a teaching certificate? Such immaturity of an adult person (and a professor at that) is really horrid…but on the other hand, we should feel sorry for those people for they obviously don’t know what friendship and love is…they don’t understand how much it hurts to be without someone you love- they can’t understand it because they don’t know what is love. Those of us who still suffer for those we loved but lost at least know that the relationships with our family and friends were pure and loving- otherwise the loss wouldn’t hurt so much.

    The loss of parents is the hardest thing. As one famous singer said, while your mother is alive there are two hearts beating for you and when she is gone you feel alone because you can sense only your heartbeat and it is lonesome….My husband was the youngest of his 8 siblings and while his parents lived to an old age, he was still young when they both died (they got married late because her parents weren’t alive and they waited many years for the older brother of hers to return from the war and to give them blessing- but he never did. He was killed in the WW2). I can see it still affects him, the loss of his parents, even if he doesn’t talk about it. His parents died of natural causes, in their sleep ( at age of 93, 83) but I know it is hard for him because they weren’t able to be at the wedding or share a large part of his life. They died before the two of us ever met, so I never knew them. I wish I had the chance to meet them…but that’s life. We must honour their memory with living our life fully….I love how you said that. To honour one’s life with our own life- that’s beautiful!

  4. What a heart wrenching story. I cannot imagine.

    I think you are incredibly strong and resilient. A true inspiration of someone that is able to move forward without holding onto devastating baggage that might bury you.

    Both you and Jessica show what it takes to truly move forward in the world after everything you know has been taken away. A personal reminder to be grateful for the moments that make up my life.

    bisous
    Suzanne
    http://www.suzannecarillo.com

  5. oh, I didn’t know and I’m so sorry for your loss, Denise, I can imagine what you had to go through when you lost both parents, so heartbreaking.. My father passed away few years ago and I know how awful it feels. I can’t believe some ‘friends’ could comment that way, but you are right, you can only know who your true friends are when you are sad and when you need them. I’m glad you decided to be happy for your parents, that’s what they would want you to do, you are so strong and inspiring. WIsh you a wonderful day, dear.
    Nina
    Nina’s Style Blog

  6. Oh my goodness, Denise, I just want to reach through my computer and hug you, one hundred times. This was such an emotional post to read. It brought tears to my eyes. I had no idea about your back story. You hide the sadness and loss so well. You are always so jolly and full of life. I can only begin to imagine how painful the loss must be. Loss is difficult and devastating at the best of times, but to lose both your parents at the same time must have been (and continues to be) unbearable. The fact that you have never shown a hint of your loss through your writings demonstates just how strong and tough you are all. Oh, Denise, your parents would be so incredibly proud of you to read this and everything you have achieved. To continue to embrace life in the way that you do, to be as positive as you are and to give so much joy and friendship to others (I always smile when I see you have left a comment for me on my blog), is a credit to you. I only know you via blogging and virtually but I value you as a person dearly, dearest Denise. Continue to be exactly the person you are. Deep hugs. Txxx

  7. I remember you telling me about the dreadful loss of your parents when we left. I still remember seeing the pain in your face when you mentioned it. It will never go away of course. Nothing makes up for the loss of those who nurtured you through life. Nothing. I am sorry that such callous and insensitive comments were made to you. I often say to people who are suffering, “I am sorry I don’t have the words to say but I can listen and care.”.
    I am terribly sorry for Jessica, I can’t imagine losing everything. Thank you so much for sharing your story and Jessica’s xx

  8. I am really sorry to hear all this.
    And the fact that you had to hear all this from ‘friends’ makes it worse.
    I hope life has only good moments from now on.
    I am also sorry for your blogger friend’s loss.

  9. I am so sorry to hear all this. I still can’t believe your so called ‘friends’ told these words to you. So pathetic they are. But there are all kind of people in this world and we cannot do anything about it but change ourselves.

  10. Dear Denise, what a touching post and it made me cry too…Jessica’s story is very sad and I will keep them in my prayers, as I will pray for you too! I am SO very sorry for your loss. I’ve lost my father 3 years ago hence I do understand your pain, however, losing both parents must be even harder. I feel for you since you are such a loving and kind person. Sending much love your way!

    xoxo, Vanessa
    http://www.WhatWouldVWear.com

  11. Hello sweetheart, How are you?
    I’ve always enjoy reading you post dear Denise, they are honest and sincere.
    I thank you for sharing these experiences, something not easy to do, I just like you I live in another country far way from home, my whole family lives in different countries, I wish I could live closer and see them more often, special my parents I am very close to them, thanks to technology we get to “see” each other often but I can’t wait to have them between my arms!
    The gift you decided to give to your parents is the most wonderful gift., live, enjoy be happy.
    I am so sorry for your lost.
    Thank for using this platform to help another blogger.
    Sending you a big hug my dear.
    Are.

  12. Cara Denise… non so neppure da dove iniziare. Ciò che ci hai raccontato oggi mi ha toccato profondamente.
    Innanzitutto è molto importante quello che stai facendo per Jessica e bisogna davvero aiutarla.
    La tua storia in particolare mi ha fatto ragionare tanto. Il tuo bellissimo sorriso spesso nasconde la tua tristezza (quella che si legge nei tuoi bellissimi occhi). Mi dispiace davvero tanto leggere quello che è capitato ai tuoi genitori. Io non posso immaginare quanto dolore hai provato, ma ti posso dire che ammiro tanto la tua forza di volontà. Sei davvero una persona da ammirare in tutto e spero che continuerai a scrivere di te, perché sei stupenda.
    Per quanto riguarda le frasi che ti hanno detto… io posso dire solo che in questo mondo ci sono persone davvero meschine, senza cuore e insensibili.
    Ammiro che nonostante tanto dolore tu abbia provato, non hai mai smesso di essere così dolce e gentile.
    con affetto.
    M.
    Maggie Dallospedale Fashion diary – Fashion blog

  13. Yeah everyone should be truly appreciate what they have b/c you never know what life will throw at you. I will never forget the night my friend called me and told me both her parents and had just been killed in a car accident. Truly awful you just never know so thank God everyday for what you do have.

    Allie of
    http://www.allienyc.com

  14. Querida Denise, este post fue muy emocional, se me hizo un nudo en la garganta luego de leerlo, pero ante todo agradezco que hayas compartido tu historia con nosotros. Simplemente no puedo imaginar el dolor de perder a tus padres y mucho menos al mismo tiempo. Preferiría que me falte todo en la vida menos ellos :( Lo siento tanto por vos, Denise. Me asombra ver lo positiva que eres a pesar de haber pasado por una de las peores situaciones que una persona puede pasar. Eso realmente te hace más que una motivación, un ejemplo a seguir.
    Los comentarios que tuviste que recibir durante este tiempo tras la muerte de tus padres son lo más descorazonado del mundo. No puedo creer que hay gente que piense eso, aunque se puede esperar cualquier cosa a veces de la gente. :( Lamento que hayas tenido que pasar también por eso, y me da lástima por esa gente, porque si pueden hablar con tanta frialdad de una situación así, sus vidas y su alma debe ser muy triste,
    Por último pero no menos importante, es terrible lo que le pasó a Jessica, me da mucha tristeza por su gatito :( pero al menos me reconforta saber que ellos están bien y fuera de peligro.
    Una vez más gracias por compartir tu historia y desde aquí muchas fuerzas más (porque es obvio que ya de por sí las tienes) y un abrazo gigante.

    http://www.stylebydeb.com

  15. It crushed my heart when I hopped over and read what happened to your friend, I can’t believe that not only they lost everything but it happened a day before their 12th anniversary. And OMG Denise, I am so sorry that you have to heard all those ridiculous stuff from people whom you thought were friends. It’s hard enough that you were heart broken from the loss of your parents but OMG, people can be sooooo stupid, tactless and heartless. :-(

    Reflection of Sanity | b·liv Skincare Set Giveaway

  16. Oh gosh, Denise, I am so very sorry for your loss. I did not know you had endured such tragedy in your life. I also am very sorry and appalled to read some of the awful things people have said to you – wow. Sending virtual hugs your way.

    I am also sorry to hear what happened to your friend Jessica – that is awful. I will be sure to check out the site.

    My thoughts are with you both.

  17. Don’t worry , many of your readers really read you! I noticed that if I want people will read the post, I need use maximum one photo in that post or I’ll get comments only about photos.
    It’s awful what happened with you, we all have these hard days in our lives early or late, we should be strong and remember that our parents always with not matter what.
    I’m so shocked what people were saying you…

  18. Oh Denise, I’m so sorry to hear about this. I remember a few years ago when we got in touch for the first time via our blogs, you had mentioned something in a comment about putting on weight for some reason but did not specify what. Now I understand the whole thing. Losing both your parents is a very scary thought and I’m really sorry that you had to go through it and I can’t even imagine how sad you must have been for such a long time. And when I read all those things people said to you, I honestly feel like slapping them. They’re such horrible human beings. Anyway, as they say time heals all wounds and now thankfully you are happy and doing well again! Beautiful post! And remember you’re never alone, you have all your blogger friends from all around the world :)
    xx
    June

  19. Mi dispiace molto per la tua perdita cara Denise, il tuo post è davvero molto bello e spero che tu possa stare meglio presto ma so che sei forte e in gamba! Un abbraccio <3

    aishettina.blogspot.it

  20. This is such a brave this for you to post and share Denise. I can’t believe what happened to your friend with her house, I hope she’s OK. You do such a great thing in being happy and positive in your life – I’m sure that is all your parents would want for you. I can’t imagine my life without my parents and especially can’t imagine how awful it would be to lose them at the same time. Thank you for giving me a bit of perspective on this Tuesday :)
    Amy xx
    http://www.callmeamy.co.uk

  21. Denise, your post is very heartfelt and it touched my heart…you are a caring, sensitive person and I thank you for sharing the story of your blogger friend and also yours, I can only imagine the pain you got thru…and you have to be proud of who you are ! People often say things they’d better not say…Ti sono vicina e ti mando un forte abbraccio cara, oggi mi è venuto di scrivere in due lingue ! Baci

    Fashion and Cookies – fashion and beauty blog

  22. Oh mio Dio, Cara cara Denise, non avrei mai pensato avessi passato una simile tragedia!
    A dire il vero immaginavo che avessi vissuto qualche brutta esperienza perchè hai quel genere di sensibilità e quel tipo di attitudine verso la vita che riconosco solo nelle persone che hanno avuto qualche esperienza molto dolorosa che gli ha cambiato la visuale, in genre dopo questi fatti o si diventa molto migliori o molto peggiori, ma non si è mai più come prima.
    Non sai quanto mi dispiace per te!!! E poi sentire quello che ti ha detto la gente! Ma che sono pazzi???!! Chi se ne importa dei genitori se hai le proprietà??? Ma che hanno la posto del cuore? Io gli avrei dato un pugno in faccia, altro che!
    Perdere i genitori, tanto più quando si è giovani come te, secondo me è la cosa più dolorosa in assoluto! Non riesco nemmeno a immaginare quanto tu possa aver sofferto poverina!
    Avrei tanto voluto poterti aitutare in qualche modo anche se probabilmente non avrei saputo assolutamente come fare….
    Però sono contenta che tu ne stia uscendo, sei una persona meravigliosa Denise, non lasciare che niente e nessuno ti porti via la luce e la dolcezza che hai! Chiunque tenti di farlo non ti merita, te lo assicuro!
    Ti auguro tutta la gioia del mondo tesoro, con tutto il cuore, te la meriti davvero!
    Baci!
    S
    http://s-fashion-avenue.blogspot.it

  23. What a beautiful post, I am so glad you shared this with us.I am so sorry for your pain and shock and being a world away when it happened. How strong you were to finish your studies, You are such a lovely, dear, and beautiful person, I always love coming to your site, knowing I am visiting a friend!
    I also lost my parents, within 2 years, but I was nearby and could grieve, although my mother died suddenly and that makes me feel like I missed saying goodbye. I also lost my brother the year before my mother died, so I can relate to your pain.
    I am shocked at how thoughtless some of those remarks are! I was lucky enough to heard the right words from the right people.
    And your friend Jessica, what a tragedy,
    Now that song.. I will not play it, it will make me cry and have to be out at an appointment, soon.
    I will play it later.
    xx, Elle
    http://www.theellediaries.com/

  24. Oh, liebe Denise, Du bist so tapfer! Danke, dass Du hier alles so aufschreibst, ich wusste ja davon, aber die Leute waren so grausam zu Dir. Ich verstehe die Menschen manchmal wirklich nicht – haben sie Ihr Gefühl verloren? Dein Leben hat sich von Grund auf geändert und niemand kann sich anmaßen Dir solche Dinge zu sagen, wie Du es erlebt hast. Hoffentlich sind diese Menschen nun nicht mehr Dein Umgang. Ich finde es sehr mutig, dass Du über dieses einschneidende und furchtbare Ereignis in Deinem Leben schreibst, und trotz all dem Jessica an erste Stelle stellst. Ich habe sehr großen Respekt vor Dir, Du bist wunderbar <3 Für Dich und natürlich auch für Jessica, für die es momentan sehr schwierig ist, nur das Beste!
    Alles Liebe von Rena
    http://www.dressedwithsoul.com

  25. Dear Denise, I’m sorry for what happened to you…IFour years ago I lost my grandmother that for me was my mother (we lived together) and I cried so much…I was destroyed inside…I started to turn away fake friends that called me only for going to party without understanding my feelings….I moved to another country and I did a crazy life (for removing bad thoughts and for not thinking about her)…Over time I started to get used to her absence and I’m sure her soul is still alive….and your parents too…they’ll continue to protect you from Paradise….I know is not the same, especially when sometimes you need a hug or their presence, but you should known it…they are close to you, not physically but spiritually.
    Life was bad with you but in the future will be more good and you’ll have your part of happiness….This event so sad gave you a big strenght that will help you for going on and deal with life problems!!!
    A big hug from Italy
    Sophia
    http://www.sophiasfashiondiary.com

  26. Denise, mi spiace tanto per quello che ti è successo. Non oso immaginare il profondo dolore che hai provato…la perdita dei genitori, a qualunque età, è una grande tragedia.
    Ti ammiro ancora di più, perchè nonostante tutto, sei sempre sorridente, e sono sicura che la tua mamma e il tuo papà sono tanto orgogliosi di te!
    Hai ragione, non bisogna mai dare nulla per scontato e bisogna sempre essere grati per ciò che si ha, perchè la vita può cambiare da un momento all’altro.
    Un bacio Sweetie!
    Paola ♡
    PollywoodbyPaolaFratus

  27. OH no! I am so sorry to hear about your parents Denise, but I am glad that you shared your personal story. What an inspiring post to read. One of my best friends died some years ago in a head-on collision car crash; it was such a jarring moment in my life, but family helped me get through it. Being in uni, with exams and having such a tragic death in the family is horrific. I do not know how you mended but you are very strong and resilient. I am working and doing my masters now, and it’s already more than a notion. Have a pleasant week dear. x/Madison
    FASHION TALES

  28. Oh my, I had no idea Denise. My condolences! The only supporting thing I can say is that I feel you, having lost my father in 2013: https://helsinkidragonfly.blogspot.fi/2013/02/only-people-who-are-capable-of-loving.html. The feeling of grief never fades, not even with time. We must just strive to be the best we can, in honor of our parents. They are with us forever anyway, it’s through us that they live on. I guess I have several stories: living in Italy for some years and becoming a woman there (before being a girl), meeting my fiancé, graduating, my father’s death, work success, me & fiancé’s engagement and now the birth of my baby girl.
    Thank you for stopping by my blog, and leaving some kinds words on it.

    xxx
    E from Helsinki, Finland
    https://helsinkidragonfly.blogspot.fi/

  29. Oh I’m so sorry for you. I can’t even imagine how it must feel losing both parents at almost the same time. I’ve lost my dad but I was only four years old at the time so I honestly don’t remember much about it…

    I’m also sorry about Jessica and her husband it much me terrible losing everything in a fire like that. I’m glad they’re alright though.

  30. I’m so sorry for your loss. That must have been an awful experience. Life really can change in the blink of an eye. (I had a similar feeling when my parents suddenly broke up a few years ago, which is definitely not as bad as what you went through but it was a huge shock and has chnaged my attitude towards relationships). I really hope those “friends” of yours are no longer a part of your life, you deserve so much better than that.

    alicered.co.uk

  31. You’re joking right?!?? WTF SERIOUSLY! Did you punch their fucking idiotic faces when they talked that crap?? I hope you quit the “friendship” immediately. Sorry had to laugh about your comment “death contest”. It’s unbelievable how endlessly stupid ppl can be.
    I’m truly sorry. Becoming an orphan so abruptly had to be unbelievable. I can’t imagine what you had to go threw. But my thoughts are with you – even if it happened three years ago.
    In which CITY do you actually live?

    I’m sending you lots of love!

    http://www.sugarpopfashion.com

  32. Hi Denise! I’m so very, very sorry for your loss, dear and I understand you in some point, because literally 5 years ago (to be more precise, on 11th of November) my Mom passed away and I totally know that awful feeling of helplessness, when you don’t have any strength to cry that accompanies you constantly. In my opinion sudden death is always the worst one – you don’t have any time to prepare yourself for it and you repeat “why” over and over again. I’m really happy that you decide to share with your story and I think that opinions of your “fake friends” showed how immature and pathetic they are – I’m even more happy that they’re not your friends anymore, because you, my dear friend, you deserve for people, who are best of the best – who will always support you and be nearby, whatever you will need it. Glad to hear that sunny is shining on your sky again, I’m sure that your parents will be pround of you. :)
    Have a lovely evening, dear!

    http://crafty-zone.blogspot.com/

  33. OMG so sorry to read about Jessica’s home and the lost of you parents. I can even begin to imagine what one may feel in these moments.
    All my condolences Denise. I can’t believe people and all the heartless things they can say.
    Thank you for sharing your story and inspiring me to appreciate things more. You are truly strong Denise.
    Have a wonderful rest of the week!
    xo
    Sauniya | Find Your Bliss ♡

  34. I am really sorry for your friend’s house and your lose. The lose of parents can never be forgotten, whenever you are happy or sad they are the first to come in mind. I am so surprised and sad how some people reacted to your lose. I cannot even imagine people talking this way on any ones death. But then again i think these are the times you come to know about people, who to trust and whom to ignore. I am so glad you have recovered and in a best way. It always feels good to read your posts and see your lively smile.

  35. Sweet sweet Denise! I’m sorry for what happened to Jessica, terribly sorry! And Im sorry for what happened to you. So tragic… I hope now you are surrounded by people who love you and could never imagine saying those nasty things to you. Seriously, who did you have to deal with? I don’t feel like sharing my life changing story because I want to look ahead and be positive. You are as strong as sweet, whenever you’d like to talk I’m here for you, never ever judging. Love you doll <3

  36. Wow Denise, I always try to read everything you write on every post and this was moving. First when I read about the girls house, that was devastating, but learning you lost both your parents at the same time is horrible. I honesty can’t imagine it. I lost both my grandparents together, they died within 2 days of each other and had a joint funeral, but they were in their 90’s so that makes it somewhat easier to accept. Don’t worry about what those other people have said, especially about the envy part. That’s horrendous. I can understand maybe they haven’t had a good life with their parents but they should never compare and say that to someone else. You’re a beautiful person which I always sense in your blog posts, they will be so proud of you and who you are. Watching their baby girl make them proud :) Lots of love to you :)

    Raindrops of Sapphire

  37. I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am that you lost both your parents, that’s horrible and I wish I could spare everyone from ever having to go through that. My family is the most important in my life, so I don’t ever want to imagine losing them, though I know it will happen at some point.

    What some of your so called friends said is awful and it saddens me even more. At least you found out what kind of friends they were.

    Also, I always read your beautiful writing. You shouldn’t think people don’t read your posts.

    xo
    http://www.carinavardie.com

  38. I read about what happened to Jessica and I feel for her so immensely. And, I had no idea about your parents! My dad died 13 years ago, so I really relate to a lot of the pain and the dumb things people said in the aftermath of it all. Blogging is so powerful because it normalizes these events and hopefully helps the world understand what people go through. Thank-you for sharing. XO
    Lauren-Blair
    http://www.gracerock-kellyroll.com

  39. Denise, I am so sorry for the loss of both your parents, I can’t imagine how hard that must have been for you. I am also sorry for the insensitive comments you received during that time, sometimes when people are trying to comfort you they just end up hurting you unintentionally.

  40. Denise I’m so sorry to hear your story and I agree, you never know what someone else is going through, so shouldn’t make judgements (negative or not). It must’ve been heartbreaking to lose both parents suddenly, I know I would also be like you and think “oh I must phone Mum and tell her…” then remember she isn’t there. It’ll sadly never leave you. What utter callous things have been said to you in relation. Just absurd. I’ve been ill for the past 14 years and have had friends say completely insensitive things or just drop off my radar altogether. Which I can understand in a way, our lives have moved in completely different directions and in many ways, I have changed, though I’m still the same person I always was. I once had another ‘friend’ fall ill (completely different illness) and she played that competitive game of who was more ill or disabled. I shut that down quickly, I had absolutely no interest in participating, what a ridiculous notion.

    You come across as such a caring person, I’m always so touched when you reply on my blogs, having met through Kezzie. I’m always happy to hear from you and read your blogs and although I’m sure it was hard to write, it’s always insightful and interesting to read more personal aspects in your blogs.

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