Assertiveness

Assertiveness: we’re taught to say “yes” because of cultural reasons, gender, religion, fear of rejection. Assertiveness is saying “no” consciously – we can’t do everything to everybody! Are you assertive?

South African beaded necklace that I love!

South African beaded necklace that I love!

Being assertive: neither passive, nor aggressive. Passive people seldom say No. They’re taken advantage of, know that and can’t voice it, leading to health problems. Aggressive ones: bossy, pushy, need to “win”. Tell your thoughts and they’ll endlessly argue till you say “you’re right”, to be free.

Few are assertive. Unfortunately I’m passive. Examples: 1) D.L. shop (we all know) asked posts for freebies I don’t need. My intuition: No! But I said yes and got nothing! 2) E.D. shop asked a post – later sent me awful emails for weeks. I wanted to share it, for honesty and keeping my good name.

Use the picture below to find out if you are assertive or not!

Source:

Source here

My makeup and skin care for the pictures

Sephora palette and lipstick, La Prairie serum, Chanel Lumiere foundation and Clinique mascara

Sephora palette and lipstick, La Prairie serum, Chanel foundation, Clinique mascara and Nars powder

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Makeup result

Makeup result

Outfit: I ordered the skirt from Choies. It didn’t fit and they refunded me, but told me to keep it. My seamstress put the black hem. This isn’t sponsored! They were really great! So there are nice shops!

Jacket

Jacket: Per Una, with trimmings also added by my seamstress. Belt, I don’t remember. Bag, Agnes B

Schuh shoes

Schuh shoes

Revlon nail polish with Anna Sui top coat

Revlon nail polish with Anna Sui top coat

I posted about Coral and Turquoise meanings on Beauty and the Mist blog

Coral and Turquoise

 And a mini review about 4 BB creams on Stylishly Beautiful

BB Creams

I feel very honored because lovely Jenny from the beautiful MishMoshMakeup blog wrote so sweet words about me, that I thought “is that me?” Please check out her blog, she’s really sweet!

Thank you a lot for your amazing comments! Wishing you a sunny week with smiles!

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160 thoughts on “Assertiveness

  1. Ciao cara Denise!
    Molto interessante questo post sull’assertività: ho appena scoperto di essere una persona assertiva (ho risposto sì a tutte le domande del test tranne una ^^), mentre fino a stamattina pensavo che fossi solamente una che non vuole problemi nella vita! XD
    Io cerco di non fare mai quello che non mi va a meno che non sia proprio necessario e non ho problemi a spiegare le ragioni del mio rifiuto (infatti rifiuto quotidianamente diverse proposte per il blog, se non mi soddisfano), d’altra parte perchè dovrei dire sempre di sì se una cosa non mi va di farla e non ne sono obbligata?
    Io comunque non credo che tu sia una persona passiva, penso solo che sei troppo dolce e temi di offendere il tuo intelocutore, si vede dal tuo bel viso e dal sorriso gentile e solare! :)
    Sempre carinissimi i tuoi look, che bella quella gonna, ti dona molto!
    Ma la cosa che mi piace di più sono i tuoi bellissimi capelli! 😀
    Buona settimana, baci!
    S
    http://s-fashion-avenue.blogspot.it

    • Ooohh, che belle parole per me, carina S.! Mi piace che sia assertiva, perche dire sempre di si non eh buono. La settimana passata, una amica mi ha domandato “posso chimar (pper telefonino) in 15 min.?” Io non poteva, cosi ho detto “puo esser in 30?” Allora mi ha detoo che “perche ho detto questo, che cattiva, 15 min piu o meno, perche ho fatto questo” e non voglia parlar per due settimane. Dunque, lo sai adesso, UNA VOLTA ho stato assertiva e succede questo :) E difficile, non so comme fare, ma un giorno :) Cerco di spiegare e la mia amica non voglia saper perche bisognava 15 min piu. Ma bisogno di pensar “che posso far, non posso far cose per tutte le gente!” :) Grazie tante per le tue parole, ed un vero aiuto! Sono super carina! Una bella settimana per te, baci!

  2. Your posts are always great, Denise :) And I think that I’m unfortunately passive too, but I’m trying to change it, because I think that saying “no” in some situations is good, because as you mentioned, we can’t do everything to everybody :) And I have to confess that I’m curious about what webstore did you write about, especially what a shame for this store that they offered you freebies, but you didn’t received nothing (despite of this, that you wrote about this store a post, so it was free ads to them)… :) So if you wouldn’t mind, you can write me an email with the names of these 2 store, it good to know that! Btw, you look so beautiful in this skirt, dear! :)

    http://crafty-zone.blogspot.com/

    • Thank you so much, dear Ivonne, always so sweet to me! It’s true, I can imagine by the way you write that you are like me, so, we have this in common, being passive :( I don’t mind or didn’t much, because I prefer to be that way than to be aggressive. I am sure you think like that too. But people take advantage of us and they find it normal “she can do it, she always does” – I bet this is the thought. But we really need to stop this in a way, because can’t do everything to everybody! Ah, as it in on the comments, I can tell you the stores – I wrote the letters, so not to give them free ads again on a post – they were Dresslink and Ericdress. So awful emails both sent me, for two weeks! Thank you so much for your comment, it really helped me! Hope you have a very beautiful week, dear Ivonne!

  3. This is such a classy and stylish outfit! Beautiful makeup and accessories, Denise. Thx for your sweet comment. Sorry Denise I am not quite sure what you meant with the subscription box? There’s the GFC gadget if you like to follow and getting updates, or are you talking about something else? Sorry, it’s Monday morning, maybe I have a blonde moment 😉
    kisses
    Lenya
    FashionDreams&Lifestyle

    • Hi, dear Lenya! Thank you so much for your sweet comment and compliments! No, no bad moment :) I should have explained better! I meant, I wanted to subscribe by email, like I have on the right side of my blog. Then the updates come to my inbox, GFC is not very reliable, according to my experience :) But never mind – I always visit your blog on Saturdays, when I am more relaxed and can read in a better way! Hope you have a very nice week, dear Lenya, kisses!

      • Sorry for being late with this one. Oh now I know what you are talking about, Denise. Thank you for explaining. When I first started out with blogging I had an email subscription gadget, but it didn’t work properly. People complaint about not getting any or getting multiple notifications. Again thank you for your explanation, Denise. Have a fantastic weekend with lots of fun and good company. kisses Lenya

  4. De acuerdo al test sí soy asertiva, pero al verdad no sé si pudiera serlo en todas las situaciones. también me pasa a veces que digo sí, cuando en realidad quiero decir no. No sé a qué tiendas te referías y la verdad tampoco entendí muy bien qué fue lo que pasó con la segunda.
    Linda ropa y accesorios como siempre!
    Besos!

    • Gracias, querida Ale! Que bueno que eres assertiva, pues es la mejor cosa! Bueno, las tiendas no quise poner sus nombres, para no darles espacio de nuevo en mi blog, sin pagar nada – ellos me pidieron unos posts, para darme cosas y pagarme, asi lo hice, no necesitaba las cosas, pero no se porque he dicho si. Despues no me pagaron nada y me enviaron horrible emails por semanas! Eso fue lo que se paso :) Una experiencia para aprender, espero! Muchas gracias de nuevo por tus palabras, querida Ale! Besos!

    • Hello, dear! Thank you very much for the lovely words! It’s true, I prefer more natural makeup, but I also like bold colors when I see a great makeup! Hope you have a very beautiful week!

    • Thank you so much, dear Vanessa! You always make my day :) I like colorful outfits, but lately I am alternating between colorful one week and black and white the other, to have some balance :) Hope you have a very beautiful week, as fabulous as you are! XXX

  5. I did the quiz and most of my answers were ‘yes’!
    You look very pretty in the photos. I like the ring!
    I had a good experience with choies too and their clothes are of good quality.
    Have a great week!!!

    • Hi, dear Demi Mist! That test is really good, glad you took it! Thank you for your kind compliments! I am also glad that you had a nice experience with Choies! Although the clothes didn’t fit me and I had to take to the seamstress, it was a good thing! Hope you have a very nice week, too! XXX

  6. I’m often passive but often assertive. I go between the two. It’s a fine balance really. I like the black trim you added to the jacket, I want to do the same with red piping to a sand coloured jacket for Doctor Who, TARDIS Tuesday sometime! That beaded necklace really is pretty. You should definitely do the Scavenger Hunt!x

    • Thank you so much, dear Kezzie, for your sweet words! Well, I am the contrary, always “in the hands” of very aggressive people, and I know that. People say whatever they want to me, and I am the one let down. It’s not good, I know, but I said, I have to learn how to be assertive without feeling guilty, and honestly, guilty of what? :) Anyway, it’s difficult! I think that trimming always add something personal to a piece, and I am looking forward to seeing your “Doctor Who” jacket! XXX

    • Thank you so much, dear! I am glad that you liked the products! I have sensitive skin, so I have to use those products, dermatologically tested. Hope you have a very nice week! Kisses!

    • Thank you so much, dear! I am so glad that you like it and I tell you, I totally agree with you – it’s so hard to find balance, I still didn’t! Hope you have a very nice week!

  7. In my 20’s .. not very assertive, but now that I’m older .. ha, very assertive .. lol. I think it takes some years so feel like you CAN put your foot down and say no.

    Love the Revlon polish on your nails – what a great color!

    Monica

    • Thank you for sharing that experience with me, dear Monica, I certainly needed that! So, there’s still hope for me :) Within time! I find it strange that I always always or nearly always say yes, even to my disadvantage, and ONE day I say “can you give 15 min before I do that for you?” and there’s a huge storm. It happened to me two weeks ago, when I said that to a friend, and now she told me that she felt “last of the line”. It was really not that, I just need to complete task and had 15 min for that… I feel very sad that she felt that way. But as I said, we can’t do everything to everybody all the time! :)

  8. Great post. I love your makeup choices, and I use La Prairie too. When I was younger I was not as assertive, but certainly not a pushover either. I had to learn how to deal with many situations since we moved around a lot. But, the older I get I am, especially in my job since there are not many women at my office position. But, I don’t think it means bossy to need to win all times, at least for me, although some people can be this way. For me speaking up is important. I wish you a wonderful week Denise.
    Matcha Summer Treat

    • Thank you so much for your lovely comment and sharing these experiences and views with me! I really need them! I am glad that you are assertive and not aggressive at all! As for me, I really need to be assertive, and it also means, not feeling guilty for it. For example, I nearly always say yes to people :( and it makes me harm. So ONE day I ask people to allow me to finish work in 15 min, so then I can talk to people, and they start telling me “what did 15 min contribute to you, but is harming our friendship”. Yes, it happened to me last week and I can’t stop thinking of that. Though I know I was right, it makes me sad that a person is 99 times nice to the point of harming herself, and ONE time she needs some minutes and the she is a witch. So, in this way… I guess I am right, the others are childish or also, I can tell them “get a life!” :) But I know I won’t :) Hope you have a very nice week, dear Madison!

    • Muchas gracias, querida! Es una falda, pero podria ser un vestido, pues cuando lo recibi era asi – vestido. Como era muy pequenio para mi, hice una falda :) Una linda semana para ti! XXX

  9. Well Denise, I did the quiz. I thought I was assertive but I scored less than 10! Guess I need to sharpen up my skills, lol! What gorgeous nails you have. I love this vibrant fushia pink shade by Revlon, very striking. My goodness, you use La Prairie. Hellishly expensive. Is the serum any good? I guess it must be if you are buying and using it. Mind you, I can’t talk. I’m currently obsessed with the skin lift serum by Skin Design London that I reviewed some weeks ago on my blog. It costs £140. Yes, quite!

    • Hi, dear Tracey! Thank you so much for the compliments and sharing the “assertiveness” information! I think that being assertive must be very good, it is important in fact, but I am not. Unfortunately! But well, there’s still time to learn, so let’s be happy, you and I! In fact, La Prairie is very good, but I am a lazy “user”. It means, I buy products and wear them during the day IF and when I go out. At night and at home I like to leave my skin breathe, and so my products last some years – some I have to throw away, because of the expiry date. This serum you are using is really very expensive, but well, we only live once and why not investing in ourselves? I think so! Hope you have a very beautiful week, dear Tracey!

  10. Yes I scored over 10 but I always knew I was quite assertive anyway from quite a young age as well I’d say. I can easily say no unless there is a big benefit for me to say yes, even if I don’t really want to – I loved that quiz to test the assertiveness.

    That’s a gorgeous jacket and skirt Denise. How lucky that they allowed you to keep the skirt whilst still refunding you. That’s typically unheard of! Such a pretty picture of you Denise. I hope you are well. Have a great week.

    • Thank you so much, dear Colleen! You know, everyone has his/her own time, it means, I have to learn how to be assertive alone, but I could well learn from you – I am not assertive at all :( And it brings me into bad situations, and still, I can’t say no in an easy way. But OK, time will show! I am glad that you are assertive! Thank you so much for sharing that information with me, and the lovely compliments! Hope you have a very nice week!

    • Grazie tante, carina Maggie! Ah, si io fosse come te, cosi nella via di mezzo, ma non :( Sempre dico di si e la gente sempre voglia questo, ed UN giorno io dico di no, e aaaah, ed il fine d’il mondo, de la amicizia, tutto :) Voglio imparara come esser nel mezzo :) Grazie tante per le tue sempre dolce parole, mi fa molto bene! Baci!

    • Thank you so much for the sweet compliment, dear Glamoury Armory! Actually the skirt was modified by my seamstress :) It didn’t fit me, and we had to change it :) Thank you again for such a lovely comment, I hope you have a very nice day!

    • Thank you so much, dear Simera, such a very lovely comment, it made my day (really!) I liked the necklace, cause I love beaded things :) Again, thank you so much for such a lovely comment and I hope you have a beautiful day!

  11. Hola querida Denise! Te cuento que yo antes solía ser muy pasiva, y lo peor de todo es que yo estaba consciente de eso pero me era imposible cambiar. Luego de un año bastante difícil en distintos aspectos de mi vida, aprendí a no decir que sí a todo y empecé a defender lo que pienso. No es que ahora de repente sea agresiva 😉 y creo que a estas alturas de mi vida sería muy difícil que eso pase ya que es no está en mi personalidad, pero siento que estoy en camino a convertirme en una persona asertiva, y espero poder llegar a eso.
    En cuanto al tema de las tiendas, es una lástima! Confieso que ahora estoy algo preocupada ya que yo acepté “colaborar” con ellos de la misma forma. Si ves posts anteriores en mi blog, yo nunca había trabajado con marcas antes y cuando el mes pasado se me dio la oportunidad estuve muy contenta. Espero que no me engañen también a mí, pero sea cual sea el resultado, no creo que quiera seguir colaborando con ellos en el futuro debido a lo que cuentas, lo que hicieron no está para nada bien.
    Por último (el comentario más largo de mi vida, ja ja ja!) me encantó tu outfit, en especial esa elegante pero versátil chaqueta y tu hermoso anillo! Ahora te dejo porque me alargué demasiado!!! 😉 Mis disculpas.
    xx

    http://www.stylebydeb.com

    • Nunca te alargas, querida Deborah, me gusta mucho saber de ti, como piensas y aprender! Bueno, solo he escrito acerca de las cosas que las tiendas hicieron para mi, o incluso, conmigo, pero no se, puede ser que no te pase lo mismo, espero que no! Conozco algunas bloggers que tuvieron una buena experiencia con ellos, asi que creo que puede ser bueno para ti tambien! Como he dicho, asi lo espero! Ser asertiva: me gusto lo que has dicho, que algunas cosas no estan en tu persoalidad. Eso me ayuda, porque tambien puedo decir eso – no esta en mi personalidad. Me es dificil decir no, pero hay que aprender! Gracias, querida Deborah, por tus amables palabras! Besos!

  12. Hi Denise, Beautiful post. I used to be passive I think I’ve always work to not be so passive, it was hard for me to say no. But the older I’m getting I have learned to say no to things I don’t want to do. I think that now I’m in the middle, not passive nor aggressive. You look so beautiful Denise love your makeup and that nail polish is gorgeous too. Happy week!

    http://www.plogstyle.com

    • Thank you so much, dear Jenny, for the beautiful comment and allowing me to learn from your experience! It’s good to know that you are balanced now, because as for me, I am still passive. Always trying to do everything to everybody and all the time. And I end up so tired, like I am now, but time will teach me how to be more assertive, I hope :) Hope you have a very nice day, my dear friend! Thank you for the sweet compliments!

  13. Hmm the quiz says that I am pretty assertive but sometimes, I wish I were more assertive. I think that in some situations, I can be while others, I can be more passive. I would like to work on the times when I am more passive rather than assertive. Anyway, I also love that beaded necklace! How fun-I’m sure it adds a lot to your outfits. And wowwo that Sephora makeup palate is gorgeous. I just love all of the colors in it :)
    Olivia | Her Name Was Celebration

    • Thank you so much, dear Olivia! You are always so sweet! I must say that the palette is a real helper, cause I even wore the eye liner from that! I am glad that you are assertive sometimes and I think you are balanced! As for me, I try to be assertive and last minute, I can’t! I really have to learn how to be that way! Hope you have a very nice day, dear Olivia!

    • Thank you very much, dear Vishakha, for the lovely comment! Well, I am glad that you are assertive, because it seems it’s a good way to be, and as for me, I still have to learn how to be :) Thank you so much for the compliment, I can recommend that Revlon nail polish, it took ages to chip! Hope you have a very nice day!

  14. I love that skirt! And your shoes…as usual.

    As per your comment on my blog about wearing a jumpsuit…I actually think you’d look great in one where you define your waist with a belt. They are perfect for ladies with hourglass figures like yourself.

    I’m quite an assertive person but since I’m Canadian I’m also “polite” which means often I keep my mouth shut when something is bothering me. I guess I’m in-between.

    bisous
    Suzanne

    • Hi, dear Suzanne! Mmm… I don’t know about the jumpsuit, cause the ones I tried lately were really bad – but I will take your words into account and will keep on trying :) You are right about being polite – I was raised up to keep my mouth shut and avoid conflicts, even to my disadvantage and I keep on doing that. A friend told me something last week that kind of hurt me, and what did I do? I joined the role of “guilty” to her eyes, so that she feels better and what about me? But anyway, I have to learn how to be assertive! Hope you have a very nice day, dear Suzanne! Thank you for your lovely comment! Bisous!

  15. I’m passive that makeup rock from Sephora. Is good to know the shop where you got the skirt was willing to work with you. BB cream I had not found one that I will want to use.

    • Thank you for your nice comment, dear Jackie! Well, I am passive, too :( But it will be good to learn how to be assertive! Mmm… that Maybelline BB cream was the best till now, I think, but that worked for me, each person is different, of course! Hope you have a very nice day!

  16. Liebe Denise, wie wunderschön Du wieder aussiehst, und Choices ist offenbar ein sehr kundenfreundlicher Shop! Der Rock ist toll geworden und mir gefällt wieder alles, was Du dazu trägst. Hm, wegen dem Durchsetzungvermögen: mein lieber Mann sagt mir oft, ich bin eher schon zu durchsetzungsfähig :) Ehrlicht gesagt, hat er recht damit. Ich weiß nicht, woran das liegt, aber ich könnte mir vorstellen, dass ich das auch im Rahmen meines Jobs als Einkäuferin gelernt habe, denn hier ist Durchsetzen ein Muss. Manchmal muss ich allerdings zugegeben, dass ich aus reinem Spaß mich durchzusetzen versuche, obwohl es mir eigentlich mehr egal ist, einfach, weil mir Verhandlen so viel Spaß macht. Ich denke, Du bist sehr streng mit Dir und das Wichtigste ist, dass Du für Dich erkennst wenn Du eigentlich nein hättest sagen sollen. Ich wünsche Dir noch einen wunderbaren Abend. Alles Liebe von Rena
    http://www.dressedwithsoul.com

    • Liebe Rena, du hast Recht! Als Einkaeuferin du musst dich durchsetzen, ohne Zweifel! Und ich denke, du musst auch Recht haben, als du gesagt hast, dass ich etwas zu streng mit mir selbst bin. Ich denke schon! Aber auch streng, wie ich versuche, immer nett zu sein, und dass ich immer sehen moechte, Leute gluecklich “zu machen” oder einfach zu sehen, wie die Leute gluecklich sein koennen. Aber zwer, endlich sehe ich, ich kann nicht alles machen, fuer elle Leute, die ganze Zeit und ich bin nicht verantwortlich fuer jedes Mensch Glueck. Aber wenn ich sehe, das jemand Hilfe braucht… versuche ich nett zu sein. Wie gesagt, muss ich lernen, eine andere Weise zu sein lernen. Danke seeeehr fuer deine suesse und super wichtig Worte, liebe Rena, die helfen mir immer sehr! Liebe Gruesse!

  17. Even though the skirt didn’t fit but you know how to managed the right look on you and that was a useful idea. Choise is very great site to shop with:). They’re better than many out there for sure. You made and turned a not fit skirt look amazing:). I did the same if my oldie clothes didn’t fit me anymore but back to trend I’ll then try to work on it to stay up on trend. I love Dr. Jart products:). Wishing you a lovely one:).

    Tanya
    http://attraction2fashion.com

    • Thank you so much, dear Tanya! Yes, the skirt was/is a good quality one, I was impressed by their quality and service. Then I used the printed part and added the black hem, so it looked very different to what it originally was, but now I can use it :) Glad that you do the same! I have only that Dr Jart product, but I want to buy more, cause it is so good and you recommending it, I trust it even more! Hope you have a very lovely day, dear Tanya!

  18. Yeah, I think we as a culture need to start redefining how we feel about things and how/why we respond to certain things the way we do. Everything is so complicated these days, so yay for posting about this stuff!

    Also, great skirt! That’s cool it all worked out. I LOVE that blazer too…and then those shoes…LOVE! XO
    -Lauren Blair
    http://www.prefertobedemure.com

    • Thank you so much, dear Lauren Blair! I think you are so right – these days things seem to be so strange, and we are always so overloaded, we can;t say yes to everything – nevertheless, I still have to practice what I am saying, I normally say yes :( and end up overwhelmed! Thank you so much for the compliments, you are always so sweet! XXX

    • Thank you so much, dear Tina! I think you are right, because a woman says No, she is considered aggressive, but sometimes – or many – No is needed! I have to learn how to do it :) Hope you have a very nice day, dear! Hugs and kisses!

  19. This is something I am still learning, but I’ve come a long way. I used to be very shy and say yes to everything just because I didn’t want people to get angry at me. Then when I said no to something, people would be very insistent knowing that I wouldn’t want to let them down. It’s been a long way back to making decissions for myself and looking at what really matters, not other peoples opinions. :) Great post!

    Natalia
    http://www.lindifique.com

    • Wow, Natalia, I really loved your comment, it speaks my mind, too! It’s exactly that way, I always said Yes, or say today as well, trying to learn to say no… and when one day you say No, purely because you really can’t do anything else, you are tired, busy, so on… then people say “oh, you don’t want to help”, to make the person feel guilty… but there’s still time to learn how to be assertive! Thank you again for your amazing comment! I hope you have a great day!

  20. I am not assertive either! I am so sorry two brands took advantage of your sweet nature. You are so kind and I can’t imagine anyone being mean to you! I love your look – so sweet of them to refund you and let you keep the skirt! Now that is good customer service! I love your jewelry (as always) – that necklace is stunning!

    xo,
    Jessica
    http://www.fortheloveofbubbly.com

    • Thank you so much, dear Jessica, you are so lovely and I feel so honored by your words! I don’t know whether I am sweet, people say so, but I think I am – and feel like that – a very naive person many times! Well, lesson learned :) The skirt had to be modified, but I was very amazed by the store’s policy, really good. Thank you again for the lovely comment, I hope you have a very nice day! XXX

    • Thank you very much, dear! I am still learning how to be assertive, it is not easy for me! I am glad you are! Thank you so much for your lovely comment and I hope you have a very nice day!

  21. I guess I still need a little help in the “No”-departement, but I feel like I have gotten better. I have no problem whatsoever to turn down brand offers that don’t fit my blog or my schedule, but I still struggle at work.

    • Hi, dear! I see we are tow of a kind in the “No-department”, and I am trying to learn it – then ONE day I said no to a friend, purely because of my schedule, and she got mad. Anyway, it was my mistake to say yes to the shops, but now I learned a lesson! Hope you have a very nice day and thank you for your nice comment!

    • Hi, dear Elle! Thank your for your comment! I hope you can b more assertive, and me too, cause you must know how it is – we say nearly yes all the time and end up overloaded and overwhelmed! Hope you have a very nice day!

  22. Sai che non mi ero mai posta questa domanda? Bellissimo il test, ho scoperto una cosa in più su di me anche se penso la via di mezzo sarebbe la cosa più giusta. Non dico sempre si ma ci sono volte in cui va detto pur non volendo. Sta a noi capire quando si deve e quando invece no. :)
    Bellissima la gonna e la palette Sephora l’adoro, cel’ho anche io!
    Buona giornata!

    • Grazie tante, Luna, per le belle parole! E vero, a vece voglio dir di Non posso, non voglio, ma dico di si, e dopo penso “perche, che pazza!” Ma sto imparando! Tante grazie di nuovo, ti auguro una bellissima giornata!

  23. Eekk! I only answer 9 ‘Yes’…uh huh? LOL! And holy cow, that serum is eye watering pricey! I love serums and can’t be without them but I don’t think I can justify that price. LOL! And wow, I have read many fashion blogs promoting Choices but they are all sponsored so it’s refreshing to read that the site is legit and good from someone who actually spent money for the item.

    Shireen | Reflection of Sanity

    • Hi, dear Shireen! Thank you for your nice comment! I know, the serum is pricey, but nfortunately I have sensitive skin and it turns to be sensitive in terms of price, too… sometimes Nivea is good for me, but not every cream is OK for sensitive skins, unfortunately. Anyway, you are right – I never read anything sponsored about Choies, but other stores like DressKink and Ericdresses yes, and I wouldn’t trust these two. They don’t send what they promise, but I really bough things at Choies and they are serious. I loved the items – they didn’t fit, but I have a good seamstress who could fix the skirt! Thank you again, dear Shireen, I hope you have a lovely day!

  24. this “test” says I am assertive. I guess I really am. especially during this year when I’ve been in many situations where I have needed to express my opinions and fight for myself and my beliefs. situations like these make us stronger and that’s a good thing about them. oh and saying “no” is not hard at all. I only say “yes” when I really want to. but people are different and I try to be as understanding as possible.
    by the way, I left you a little reply note under my last post. about shorter hair. and when it comes to this post I have to say you look absolutely gorgeous! and your manicure is awesome as well. I love that shade of purple! oh and the coral and turquoise jewellery looks so so amazing! I would love to have them all in my jewellery collection 😛
    ps. did I miss some posts where you told about experiences with those companies you mentioned?? once again I’m curious.

    • Hi, dear Maiken! I am glad you are assertive, cause I am very passive – not even passive, but very. I mean, not passive at home, when I have to decide some things, but when it comes to people. It’s difficult to say “no”, but I have to learn how to… I am much better today than some years ago, but stillm a long way to go :) Thank you so much for the lovely comment and compliments! Today I tried red nail polish, I am now in love with it :) I will go to your blog now to read the answer! Oh no, you didn’t miss anything, this is the only post talking about the bad experiences with some stores! :)

  25. Hello my dear Denise. I’m very assertive and I consider very important that we are doing our things very carefully. Passive people are very quiet but they suffer very much. We are on this planet to be happy, not to suffer. Be assertive also and a lovely weekend to you.

    • Hello, dear Alberto! I am always so glad with your comments, they are really an addition to me and to learning! Actually, I am very happy that you are assertive, and I wish I could be too, but in fact, I am so afraid of offending that I get to be offended at least once a week :( I try and try to be assertive, but I still have a long way to go! Living is learning :) Hope you have a very nice weekend! Thank you for your lovely comment!

    • Hello, dear Tanya! You are really really so sweet! I feel so happy to read your wishes, and I also wish you a very nice weekend, enjoy and if possible, relax a bit :) Many kisses, too, dear Tanya!

    • Thank you so much, dear Rosdays! I have some beautify products for sensitive skin, but if I could use others, like from drugstores, I would be very glad as well – just that I should avoid them, because of my skin type, such a pity! Thank you so much for your lovely comment, you are always so sweet!

    • Thank you so much, dear Aimee! Well, you may be right, being shy can be a sign of that, not being assertive, I don’t know. Guess what, I am not shy and I answered yes 8 times, which is really bad. Today I got told off and tortured again by things people say to me, being impolite and what do I do? Nothing. So don’t worry, we now know we need to be assertive and we can learn that, I hope!

  26. What a great post, seriously great. I was actually just thinking about this the other day in a work situation. Assertiveness is key to success. Aggressiveness is distasteful and will quickly alienate you, passiveness is never a good thing especially in the work place. “I’m Shy.” Being assertive consistently is a challenge for all, walk the time with empathy and compassion.

    I’m blogging about similar things, check it out and let me know what you think: http://www.kellmenow.com

    XO K

    • Hello, thank you for such a lovely comment, sharing this with me! Yes, aggressiveness is not good at all, but you are right, being passive also not. In a strange way, I am more assertive at work than in my personal life. Family and friends can ask everything and even overwhelmed I probably will say yes, and later I see how much it can harm myself. I definitely need to learn how to be assertive! Hope you have a great weekend, and again, thank you for your lovely comment!

  27. Ciao, dolce Denise!
    Io non sono capace di dire “no” senza sentirmi in colpa, ma sto imparando a farlo… come dici tu, we can’t do everything for everybody!
    Io adoro i tuoi post, mi danno sempre spunti di riflessione… e anche consigli utili di beauty e make up!
    Bellissima la tua gonna!

    P.S. Grazie per il tuo commento al mio blog, sei sempre così carina!
    Ma se c’è una persona che è cattiva con te, tienila lontana…non permetterle di farti stare male! Tu sei una persona così positiva e solare! 😉

    Paola ♡
    PollywoodbyPaolaFratus

    • Grazie tante, carina Paola! Cerco d’esser una buona persona, e le cattive a vece non e possibilie di inviarle lontana :) Ma cerco di non parlare molto con loro; come hai detto, bisognammo persone positive, la vita e piu bella cosi :) Non sapeva che tu non poteva dire di non, anche io sono cosi, la stessa cosa! Ma ed importante imparare di dire No! a vece. Non sempre, ma a vece! Tu sei sempre tanto carina, posso veder questo, e la gente domanda e domanda, e sempre cosi! Grazie di nuovo per le tue belle parole, baci ed una bella giornata, carina!

    • Oh, thank you so much, dear Alyssa! You are so sweet! You know I visit your blog on Saturdays – so this is the day! Actually the skirt was not sponsored. I bought it, and it took months to arrive, so they refunded me. When it arrived, it was so small, I said to them “I will send it back”. They didn’t accept and I decided to add a huge black hem to it, so that it could fit, it means, I even paid the seamstress :) But I liked the result! Hope you have a very nice weekend!

  28. I’m glad you had better experiences with other shops! Choies were great with you as it seems. Unfortunately I didn’t have the best experience with them. Love what you’ve done with the skirt! :)

    • Thank you so much, dear M.! I am sad you didn’t have the best experience with them, but anyway, glad I could change the skirt to fit me :) Sizes are so small, you know, or better, I am big :) But the skirt got to be good :) Hope you have a very nice weekend!

    • Thank you so much, dear Zubaida! I agree with you, it’s difficult to be assertive and I am not, but I think I am learning :) Or at least, I have to :) Thank you again for such a sweet comment, I hope you have a great weekend!

  29. you always have very insightful posts! I struggle with being assertive, and I always end up feeling guilty for saying no. but then i realize others don’t feel guilty themselves when they arent willing to help me so why not be “selfish” and take care of myself!
    the sephora makeup palette looks great! so many colors! and that beaded south african necklace is beautiful!
    those shoes too – i have similar shoes that i got from a thrift store, but they are maroon colored!
    and what a pretty skirt, nice touch with the black hem – looks great on you!
    hope you have a wonderful weekend Denise! xoxo
    Andrea
    http://www.phdfashionista.com

    • Hi, dear Andrea, thank you so much for your sweet comment and sharing information with me – and the same information that I share as well :) I also feel guilty when I say no, but like you said, others don’t care. Nevertheless, I think we are true to ourselves and that we do what feels right, and let the others with their views – maybe they are not wrong, just different :) You are so sweet, so many compliments, I feel so flattered! I also hope you have ana amazing weekend, dear Andrea! XXX

  30. Awww I love how you always share something important and then post your pretty pictures and the make up 😀 I am passive too omg.. But being passive isn’t that bad so I guess it’s okay :) Hahaa but yeah I do need to change that. And damn as always you are just so beautiful!! Love that outfit. Goes so well on you 😀 Thanks for sharing all this :) I always learn something new here in each of your posts and that’s really awesome :) Thank you so much Denise ^.^

    • Oh, dear Heena, I feel so honored and flattered by your words! I really love to know about you and so we are two of a kind – passive :) Not that good, as you said, and me too, we need to change that! Cause I bet people are always asking you to do things and you do, and then one day you say “I really can’t now”, and then not only I feel a bit guilty, but then people say “oh, thank you, for not helping, so selfish”. Wow! There’s a saying: a person forgets that 99 meals were offered for free, but remembers the day one was missing. So, time for us to be more assertive! Thank you so much for your compliments, you are always so sweet!

  31. I really love reading your blog. Everytime I visit it I know that I will learn something new. ❤️ I am indeed an assertive person because my answer was ‘yes’ to all the questions above. But maybe I am on the aggressive side since my personality type falls on ENTP. If you have a free time take this 16 personality types and let me know what you’ve got. :) By the way, I am sorry about the two shops who weren’t professional enough to do what they are ought to do from the agreement. Tough times at blogosphere. I am glad to hear that you have experienced a good customer service at Choies. They’re my favorite online shop and I support them. I love the skirt! It looks good on you. I love how you styled your outfit. Everything is spot on including your make-up! I love your Sephora Palette and lipstick. Hope you’re enjoying your weekend. ???

  32. Muitas vezes eu ainda tenho essa dificuldade em dizer “não” em alguns momentos e depois fico chateada com algumas coisas que sei que não deveria ter sido daquela forma. Mas tenho tentado trabalhar melhor isso em mim, o que já é um começo né? E o seu visual está outra vez tão charmoso e com lindos acessórios que tornam o seu look ainda mais completo!!
    Beijos querida Denise!!

  33. OMG. Such a amazing post Denise. I loved the way you have exchnaged overall your thoughts in this post. Even a point of times im passive too. Im working on this and will surely improve. I loved all you did and wrote in this post. Thanks for sharing. Stay blessed!

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